8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
