so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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