dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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