I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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