Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
