I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
