Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
