Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
