I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize