i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
