she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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