You're so nebulous sometimes
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
