There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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