Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
