so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
