the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
