big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
