Come see our sink grown plant.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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