The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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