he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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