I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
