Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i need some magic done to my vagina
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
