My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
