i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
