There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can't turn off my feet"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
