I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
