we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Boobs are out for the taking
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
