I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
