Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I touched a dick in church today
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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