We named our party play list daddy issues
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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