no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
