I wannas sexs uuuuu
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
