you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I have fence marks all over my body
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
