is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
