at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
