I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
