I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
