I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
