it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
