Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I didn't notice because vodka
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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