the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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