it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
