I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
