North Korea, Best Korea!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
