I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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