There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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