My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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