i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
