He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
