im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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