Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
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