Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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