): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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