come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
